Silver Silence
by Abxminable
Summary: Who said being a Silent Brother would be easy? Jem Carstairs never did! I'm rubbish at summaries but it's about Jem's time as a Silent Brother. Please review and read.
1. Chapter 1

Jem Carstairs was dying.

He could feel his heart labouring to beat his infected blood through his frail body and it hurt.

Charlotte was sat by him, she had been ever since Will had ran off in vain search of Tessa Gray - the love of Jem's life. He wasn't sure how long he was lay in his bed before the Silent Brothers came to anoint him with the final runes he would ever receive.

"Jem?" Jem was half asleep with he felt Charlotte shake him lightly by the arm, "Brother Enoch is here." She took him lightly by the arm and helped him sit up while he rubbed his eyes lightly. "They're here too-"

"I know why they're here Charlotte. You don't need to explain." He leaned against the head board of his bed and glanced at the robed man. "Brother."

_Jem Carstairs, is it true you desire to become a member of the brotherhood? _Brother Enoch pulled back his hood slightly and looked at Jem, his dark eyes meeting Jem's silver ones. When he nodded Brother Enoch nodded, _As you desire. I trust that you know the whole process could kill you. _

He nodded again, "I do, but I figure I'm only going to die soon anyway."

Brother Enoch nodded, _As you wish. Charlotte Branwell I'm going to have to ask you to leave the room - the process is a dangerous one which is sacred to our people. _

Charlotte nodded, "Okay." She leaned over Jem's bed to kiss his forehead for the last time. "Be strong Jem. I love you." She whispered, her breath hitching slightly on his name. She then hurried from the room, shutting the door firmly behind her.

A few moments later Brother Enoch began the process, saying various things in Latin which Jem didn't understand. He carved runes into each of Jem's cheek bones and arms which would stay on him forever. Eventually Brother Enoch moved to the door, _Your robes are on the chair. Get changed once the runes have taken effect. I will be downstairs. _

Jem lay in bed for a while before stripping out of his bed clothes and pulling the robes on. He used his cane to walk over to the mirror and looked at himself. He stared at himself in awe and horror for a moment, the runes were red and angry against his pale face. The robes he wore had no runes on to Jem's amazement, the Silent Brothers which he'd seen had robes decorated heavily with ancient runes. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

Then it occurred to him. Normal nephilim just saw Silent Brothers as doctors, healers, librarians - never did it cross his mind how they became them. Did they have to have special training? Jem was eager to find out. He fastened the robes around his waist and pulled the hood up. This would be how Charlotte, Cecily and the others would see him, how he would look as he said goodbye.

He walked over to his bed, carrying his cane in his hand, brushing the jaded dragon tenderly. He fixed the bed covers so Charlotte wouldn't have to do it when she was clearing out his room, and then he proceeded to use his free hand to pick up his violin case and took one look at his room before leaving for the final time.

Jem went into Will's room, which was next door to his, and placed the cane and violin case neatly on the top of his bed before grabbing a sheet of paper and writing on it, _Please look after these for me, brother. _Jem sighed heavily and prayed Will was okay, that he wouldn't get hurt or do anything rash or stupid while he wasn't there.

Then he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Even though Charlotte's study was a few doors down Jem could hear her discussing something with the Silent Brother. "What about his parabatai? What will happen to him? Will Jem be able to see him again or is it like when someones marks have been stripped?! Which country will he be situated in?!" Charlotte's voice kept on rising as Jem got closer to the door. He took a deep breath and pushed the door open and stepped into the study, he could feel everyone looking at him. "Jem-"

_Charlotte that isn't my name any more. _Jem knew he would be assigned another name, like Brother Enoch and Jeremiah had. He heard Charlotte gasp and someone move over to her. _I'm sorry I didn't mean-_

"It's fine.. The fault was mine."

_Brother Zachariah and I must go now. _Apparently the Silent Brothers had already chosen for him. Zachariah was so different to James or Ke Jian Ming - his Chinese birth name.

Charlotte nodded, "Yes.. I'll show you out."

_There is no need. Thank you._ Brother Enoch turned and walked toward Jem, patted his shoulder and walked past. Jem took one last glance at the woman who had basically mothered him for the past five years and nodded at her before turning and following Brother Enoch.

The pair walked back to Silent City in silence, Jem following Brother Enoch, Brother Enoch gliding along the street ahead silently. Once they reached the gates of Silent City they were met by group of other Silent Brothers. _Enoch._ One of them tilted their head in acknowledgement at them, _You named him Zachariah? _There was slight conviction in that ones words. _  
_

_Naturally,_ Brother Enoch breezed past the group, _Brother Zachary died fighting that greater demon, it was fitting. I'm taking him to see David now._

Jem stayed silent, he wasn't sure how to react to all the involvement between the Brothers.

Brother Enoch lead Jem through a series of tunnels and hallways before eventually stopping outside of a room which was made out of electrum bricks. _Brother David is the head of the Silent Brothers. He will teach you all you must know. Abide by his rules and you will find life with us easy. _He bowed to him and then turned and left, disappearing into the darkness.

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_**Authors Note: I hope you like this, the next chapter should be longer, I have no idea where this is going so if you have any ideas PM me please and you'll be credited. Disclaimer: I owe nothing, all characters belong to Cassandra Clare. **_

_**Please review or I might not update xD **_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Authors Note: Thank you for your lovely reviews.**_

_**I wrote a piece of fanmail to Cassandra Clare on the night this was published regarding Silent Brothers and their names - she said the individual chooses their own name and the other Silent Brothers approve it. I may have to amend chapter one now hah. **_

_**Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to**_** me.**

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Jem POV

I had spent a few days with Brother David learning before he decided it would be time for me to start doing independent work. I was a slightly weaker Silent Brother, than mostly due to the fact the Yin Fen poisoning and addiction I had restricted the transformation ceremony to it's most basic elements.

I had been too weak for my mouth to be stitched shut, making it possible for me to speak, even though I found it really weird and had to strain to do it at times. My hair wouldn't ever fall out and I would age slower than most others. Another thing he told me was that I'd require sleep and food, so he gave me a schedule each day. Wake up, eat, study, practise runes, go out in the field with Brother Enoch and see how we work, eat, study, practise using staff, sleep. That was my schedule for the day.

Studying mainly consisted of what a mundane would consider a ridiculous amount of reading in a day, in four hours. Each day I would be able to master a new language or two.

The runes were simple, I'd join Brother David for a hour and he would go through one rune each day, explaining it's historical background and when to use it. I found it fascinating yet easy to take in. Brother David had been around since most of the runes had been created so he was to only person adequate to teach me them.

My field visit with Brother Enoch was to The London Institute. Henry had demanded a visit after Charlotte had been suffering excruciating headaches for the last few days. When we got there he was waiting for us, his face cheerful. "Brothers, come in." I followed Enoch into the hallway.

_Stay here. All I'm going to do is give her a stronger iratze than normal, it'll do you no benefit._ Enoch said before disappearing into Charlotte's and Henry's room.

"How are you Jem?" Henry asked quietly, rocking back on his heels. His hair was streaked with dirt and sweat, probably after hours of working incessantly in his workshop.

_I'm good thank you. Has there been any word of Will or Tessa yet?_ I felt a pain in my chest every time I thought about Will. The faded _parabatai_ rune on my shoulder made my new life a reality, and a painful one at that.

"No, not yet I'm afraid. We're doing all that we can really here. Will will find her, don't worry." Henry's reassurance calmed my thoughts slightly and I nodded.

_Thank you Henry. How is Charlotte? _

Henry's face brightened slightly at the mention of his wife. "Charlotte is Charlotte. No change there. She refuses to clean out your room, even though the Inquisitor says it's a waste of space uninhabited. She's being really stubborn about it." He chuckled.

_Tell her I said thank you and that she must do what she must do._

"If she cleans out your room it'll break her Jem." Henry's voice was quiet for a moment, sad. "She's really the driving force nowadays here."

Henry and I stood in silence for a few more minutes before Enoch joined us in the hallways. _Your wife will be fine Henry Branwell. Keep her hydrated and her headaches will go away. Do not hesitate to contact us if you need anything else. _

Once we left the Institute we did a few house calls, one man recently had his foot and lower leg amputated and we needed to change the bandages which were on it. Enoch made me do it while he applied runes to the man's upper leg and torso. It was honestly the most horrible thing I'd ever seen. The man had been caught in a fox trap that he had set up to trap a ravener demon.

After him we did a few more house calls before returning back into the heart of London where Enoch went back to Silent City and I went to have some privacy in a café.

It was a downworlder café so I got a few odd looks and I seen the server choke slightly and bark at her employees to work 'double time'. I walked to the counter and the werewolf server smiled brightly at me. "What can I get you sir?" Her heavily accented voice was full of fake pleasantness and I sighed slightly.

"Tea please." I said, pushing back my hood. I could speak, but Brother David had advised me not to around the London Institute inhabitants, to separate myself from them to a degree.

The server choked slightly upon seeing that my face wasn't as grotesque as some of the other brothers, it just had the two angry red runes on my cheeks and my lips didn't have iron thread laced through them, sealing them shut. This must have been a slight relief to her as she just nodded rather than staring.

I didn't even need to look properly at the menu, I just chose the first thing on it and asked for water. Brother David told me that I'd need to eat and drink but they wouldn't taste of anything so it didn't matter. I moved over to a table in the corner and waited for the things to come.

I seen someone saunter over and sit opposite me, "Jesus, Jem Carstairs I never thought I'd see the day that you became a Silent Brother." I didn't even need to look up to see who it was, I knew straight away from the voice.

"Magnus Bane." I looked up at him with mild interest at the warlock. "Neither did I to be honest."

Magnus looked at me and regarded me with sad, pitying eyes. "What did William have to say about the matter?" He asked quietly.

I shook my head, "He didn't. He's gone to Wales - to Cadair Idris, to find Tessa. He would have no say in the matter regardless." I felt my heart pang at the mention of my parabatai and sighed.

"Of course.. He told you?" Magnus ran a hand through his hair. "I'm so sorry Jem."

"There is nothing to apologise for Magnus Bane. I gave him my blessing." I said, fiddling with the cuffs of my robes.

Magnus regarded me with a look of curiosity, "I will never understand why you nephilim feel the need to be so proud in everything you do." He chuckled slightly and I smiled back at him, though the action felt hard and forced.

"It's in our nature." I said.

A waitress who looked vaguely like a werewolf came over and placed a plate and a cup of tea in front of me, she hesitantly smiled at me and then hurried off to collect dishes and clean tables.

"Immortality can last a lifetime, you know." Magnus said, watching me. "The eons you spend learning to love people, only to have their life tugged away by illness and wounds. It's hard."

I hadn't even contemplated that, "I didn't realise-"

"You'll loose Will one day." Magnus sighed slightly, "But you won't loose Tessa. Every cloud has a silver lining."

I felt angry at that. How dare he walk into my life and tell me loosing my parabatai would be a blow softened by the fact I'd still have the girl I loved in my life. The thought made me sick. I picked up my food and stood up, "I'm sorry Mr Bane but you have no idea. I'll probably see you around." I turned and walked away.

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**_Okay, so I haven't read CP2 in forever, so I have no idea what happens between the battle and anything. It's all foggy. _**

**_The next chapter will be about Jem meeting will after the battle, it'll be different to the scene in CP2 but it'll contain flash-backs. _**

**_Thankyou and please review! _**

**_- Clare _**


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